Monday, August 18, 2008


NOTE: if you missed any chapters, please click on the chapters/installments on the left to catch up! thanks!

A heavy heart and a few sorrowful songs on repeat has led me to the river. The Detroit Riverfront.

They've built it up nicely down here. The perfect mile-long stroll for couples on a summer day. Or, for a lovesick woman who just wants to be alone. The clouds have even covered the sun in honor of my heartache, made for a more melancholy forecast.

I park, sit, and stare out of my windshield at all the happy couples, holding hands, laughing, smiling. That used to be us. Just two short weeks ago, that was Abram and I. This used to be one of our favorite places to spend a Sunday afternoon.

I have driven him to another woman. The reality of the gray door with the gold, horseshoe-shaped knocker that I've grown so fond of, being opened by some strange, beautiful woman, hits me. Hits me hard. The tears that haven't already abandoned my ducts in the earlier flood rush to the white of my eyes, prepare for their fall.

I can't believe this.

My sweet, sweet Abram. The one who held my face tenderly and said he was falling for me, just a few weeks ago. The one who said he could see forever in my eyes. The one who, after every night of unequivocally passionate love-making, wakes up to me, pulls me close to his warmth, nuzzles his face in my cloud of hair, and whispers that this is exactly what he wants to do tomorrow morning. And the morning after that. And the next after that until he has reached his final waking morning.

That same Abram just had a woman open his door and greet me, with a smile, ample cleavage, and no knowledge of who the fuck I was.

I grab my camera, visions of Abram and that woman doing all sorts of ungodly things stampeding through my head, each pound another nail in the coffin of my belief in love. I have got to clear my mind.

A long stroll along the riverwalk proves beneficial. I take a few shots of the kids playing in the newly-added fountains in the GM Plaza. A few shots of passers-by blasting old school music from their speedboats. And a few couples, quietly enjoying their afternoon, the intimate gazes and interlocking of fingers reminding me of what I'm missing. Strumming my pain.

My phone rings about ten times. All Abram. I don't answer.

Now he wants to talk. Hmph. Now he can call. Too late. There is nothing I want to hear from him right now. Nothing.

But persistence pays off, I guess. After about the twentieth call from his cell number, I pick up.

"What do you want, Abram." I don't hide my disgust at all.

"Oh, hello, Ata?" He stumbles as if he wasn't expecting me to answer. "Baby, we need to talk. That, what you saw back there... it's not what you think."

"You've had all these hours and you couldn't come up with anything more original than 'it's not what you think', Abram? Come on now."

"It's the truth, Ata. That was just business, I swear."

"Couldn't tell you the last time I had my 'business' guest's cleavage answering my door, Abram. Must be a really sweet deal. You've been avoiding me, being rude on the phone, not answering half my calls, all because you thought I was with my ex when you heard him in the background on the phone. But I get to your house and this heifer is answering your door with her breasts hanging all out? Forgive me if I'm not buying your bull."

"I'm not saying I was right, Ata. I've been pulling back a little, yes. But that Jaylen incident... that threw me a little. Made me realize that I have feelings invested in you, Ata. I'm not trying to get hurt. Not trying to be played. Being honest, that scared me a little. A lot."

Why do men always used the 'I don't want to get hurt' excuse for everything they do. I don't want you to hurt me baby, that's why I was with her. I can't let you hurt me, that's why I didn't call.

What. The. Fuck. Ever.

"Save it, Abram. All you had to do was talk to me. But not right now. Right now, I'm about to go. I'm downtown by myself, and that's what I want to do. Be by myself. So, bye."

"Ata ... don't hang up. I love you, Ata. I swear I do. And I had this really elaborate plan I was going to do, and it was going to be face to face when I told you, but I feel like I need to say it now. I love you. This past week has made me realize it even more. I don't even want to think of me being without you."

I try to stop them, but the tears spring up without my consent. Well up in my eyes and blur my vision of the beautiful day. My feet stop moving and all I can do is stand there. I've wanted to hear this from him for so long. So long. But like this? He waits until he has to get back in my good graces and pulls the 'I love you' trump card.

"Abram, I've got to go. Good bye." I curse my betraying voice for cracking as I speak.

"Don't hang up after I just spilled my heart to you, Ata. Don't do that. You don't want to hang up. You want to work this out. So just tell me where you're at downtown and I'll come there."

The tears congregate more, but I refuse to let them drop. It wasn't supposed to be like this. It just wasn't.

"I'll talk to you later, Abram." I say, hanging up as he starts to plead his case once again.

Business? That's the best he could come up with? No way.


Ericka said...

You know you play entirely tooooooo much!!!! I am going to need you to give us a chapter a week. I heart Ata!! You are a wonderful writer.

Undeniably...Deep aka Tina-B said...

Thats all you could give me!?

After months of waiting and thst all you give me?

Muze, you made me day when i say the new post! but now i'm upset again.

Girl you betta get me some mo' fo the week is out...LOL.

Dang it.

Wiping the tear form my eye & going back to my solitude*

PS make sure you check ou tmy online novel @

Thank u

Green said...

I love it, Muze!!! That's how it is sometimes... a miscommunication can lead to a strained relationship. Sometimes there is no repair for that kind of damage. I hope Ata turns the other cheek this time. "Some of us gotta stay together."

koffeedyme said...

Honestly why do men use the word "business" not thinking it could mean, intimate or innocent work related? A great way to have us wondering what exactly it was all about... Whens the book coming?

James Tubman said...


you got another fan hunny

that's real

i can see why you won the award

that is the new fear now

the fear of someone seeing you in a vulnerable state

no pretenses, just as you are


thats why guys say they dont want to be hurt because in a lot cases they get hurt when they put their real self out there to an inconsiderate woman

but it's has nothing to do with the woman in actuality

it has everything to do with the mans ego

words dont hurt unless you let them

excellent muzey lol

IntrospectiveGoddess said...

Girl I am so glad you posted another part I am kind of late but I have followed this entire story...this is getting so good, you are an incredible writer...I cant wait until you get published cuz i would so buy this without hesitation.....and you have got to let us all know who that jaylen heifer leave us with just enough to want more!!

IntrospectiveGoddess said...

oops typo I meant the names confused I was calling Tisha the heifer already know about Jaylen's trifling behind

N. Steven said...

are you serious?

are you freaking serious?

okay, imagine that this is when Jay-Z retired. but instead of "The Black Album", this is "The Black Album Mixtape".

This is a tease. After all this cotdamn time, and we get one chapter?!

You got some nerve.

(I'm playing with you, being the indignant stalker. But I do demand more chapters ASAP.)

Da Vinci The Verbal Arteest said...

You know, I read this yesterday and couldn't believe what I read so I decided to sit on it until I had a chance to read it today.

You sure know how to build suspense and play with the readers emotions thats for sure. I love it! I can't wait until you post another chapter. I would have done a back flip when I saw this post but my neck and have just rekindled our relationship and I wasn't in the jeopardizing mood

Don said...

You, my dear Muze, are awesome with your fiction writing. I mean, AWESOME. I guess that's why I have trouble believing that it's simply fiction. It digs too deep into the chest to be simply fiction.

Great read.

Bee Easy said...

yay! glad to see you back :)

MysTery said...

Oooooooo. Good story guys are crazy.

blah blah blah said...

just found your blog today! it's 2:05 am and I finished reading chapter 1-15. I'm contemplating putting a petition together to DEMAND that u post at least one a week!!

Who's with me?!

Good read! very good read!!

Phree Christasha said...

Blah, I second your motion for that petition.

this is soooooooo great. I love reading and honestly this is the best piece of fiction that I've had in my hands for such a long time. I went back and read 1-15 today and I almost didn't want to because I was trying to stretch the story out.
You do a wonderful job describe the scenery and the elements. I feel as if I've actually seen Ata and Abram in real life.
And I literally laughed out loud at the "decoy" trick that Jamaica used. You been spying on me and me and my friends??? LOL

Please write some more or post some more ASAP!!!!!

Muze said...

thank you everyone for the wonderful comments. glad you enjoyed.

new chapter up tomorrow.

Green said...

I can't wait until the next installment. From the first chapter till now... you've grown so much as an artist. Yes an artist...people don't acknowledge who we writers really are.

-Breathe Easy- said...

I love this story... each installment leaves me wanting more! Can't wait to see how this turns out. Btw, thanks for the comment on "Dying...", it always helps to get words of encouragement :)

Next installment PLZ! Lol

Suite B said...

Oh lord, I really don't need another blog to be addicted to. Damn you muze...damn you

bebedee said...

Muze....I love you, but I hate you for leaving me hangin', AGAIN!!!! I have missed Ata & Abram. Stop teasin' & give me the closure I need LOL

spitfire said...

i stumbled on your blog and i am hooked so come on chica give us the goods you know you ain't right for this! i agree with ericks you need to hit us off every week! for real though you are gifted, god bless

Brandi Bates said...

Damn...that was brilliant! I loved it!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

This is GUUUUUUUUD!!! More Please :-)

Brothers Blog said...

wow this is great. I started from the top so now I have to back track and see what lead up to this. I know I'm a little backwards. But you hooked me. You're a great writer.

Anonymous said...

i got into readin dis story tru a friend n i must admittive been sucked in
and i need the next chapter asap for i lose it girl plz hurry up

KayKay said...

I just read all of 1-15 and you are brilliant! I LOVE it!!! Stop being cruel and post another chapter ASAP please!